Ray Nethery: My Mentor and Friend

It all began at the University of Southern California. I was a student leader of the local campus Christian group, and Ray—who had recently left Campus Crusade staff—took me and my future wife Suzanne under his wing. He was also involved with the JC Light & Power House, a student discipleship center in Los Angeles.

This was 1968, 41 years ago!

From the first day I knew there was something special about Ray, something that made me want to follow him. He had integrity. In his quiet, consistent way Ray called me on to follow Christ, wherever that might lead.

Well, at first it led my new wife Suzanne and me to Eastport, Maine, the eastern-most city in the nation. We taught for one year, thawed out, and then planned to head back home to California.

Or so we thought.

We only had enough money to make it to Mansfield, Ohio, where Ray had recently moved to lead a L'Abri-inspired ministry center called Grace Haven. I wasn’t about to ask my parents or Suzanne’s parents for any help. So we sublet an apartment and I got a job in town. By the time we could head out again for the West Coast, Ray had convinced us to join the Grace Haven staff as “householders,” staff members who host students and provide the common meal every third night.

We wouldn’t return home to California until 1984!

Our years at Grace Haven were a baptism of ministry, with all the ups and downs a young pastor faces when he’s called by God to serve. It was the height of the Jesus People movement, and we had Jesus People coming out of our ears, which made for some crazy times. It seemed like everyone was getting high on Jesus, and a few were getting high on other things.

Ray was with us all the way—coaching, correcting, encouraging, challenging… even forgiving. He also humbled me. My first official job as an intern pastor Grace Haven was to tend my own flock, a literal flock of 100 chickens. It was humorous, really—though I failed to see much humor in it back then—but it also had a serious point: leaders must serve. So this was a test. I actually grew to love those chickens!

Ray also encouraged me to enroll in seminary, which changed my life. Between my Francis Schaeffer L’Abri studies and Ashland Theological Seminary, God built a theological and philosophical base in my life that has gotten me through the past 35 years of joyful and sometimes stormy ministry.

My Mansfield years were about more than studying. Ray would take me with him on his famous ministry trips all over the country. Unless you’ve travelled with Ray, you wouldn’t understand how unique these trips can be. Ray is a big man—six feet, five inches tall. He’s also a very strong man. When he travelled he never stopped, day and night. His days started with an early breakfast and ended with late-night coffee; in between were more meetings and travel. After my first road trip with Ray to the East Coast, I got sick and slept for three days!

In addition to working hard, I learned about being people focused. Ray does that best. When you are talking with Ray, you feel like you are the most important person in the world. He taught me the value of valuing people, of being a good listener, of caring about what they care about.

He even taught me, over a piece of strawberry pie at the L&K restaurant, how to enter a room and honor the people who are there. He bought me that pie, which I loved, and as I was finishing up he pointed out some flaw in my character that needs to be corrected. Ouch! Then he coached me on how to change it and, most important, modeled it for me.

To this day whenever I eat a piece of fresh strawberry pie I think of those life changing conversations in an L&K booth with Ray.

No testimony about Ray would be complete without a good Eunice Nethery story or two. After all, she, with the help of the Holy Spirit, made Ray the man he is today. Eunice profoundly influenced my wife Suzanne. She still liberally quotes Eunice aphorisms on motherhood and what it means to be a Christian woman to younger women.

And when I need a word of wisdom, encouragement, or just a listening ear, I know I can call 419-526-0251 and Eunice will pick up with an engaging ear and encouraging words. I’ve been doing it for 40 years! And many, many other people have been doing it too.

I moved away from Mansfield back in 1977 to pursue my calling, but Ray never left me. We’ve remained close as I made a stop in Michigan to plant my first church and then return home to California, where I’ve been a pastor and writer.

Along the way, Ray has heard it all—the victories, discouragements, defeats, and miracles. Every step of the way he’s pointed me to Christ, to faith, to consistency, to integrity. And he’s done it with words, but more important, he’s done it with actions. Ray is my integrity standard.

“Keep on keeping on,” he told me when I was a pup pastor. “Finish well.” I’ve held on to those words, and at times they’ve held me back from doing something foolish or impulsive or immature.

“If you do the right thing, and by that I mean what God wants you to do, and it costs you everything, DO IT ANYWAY!” That’s maturity; that’s the life of Christ in you. That’s Ray Nethery!

NOTE: This is a tribute that I wrote for Ray and Eunice Nethery for their upcoming retirement celebration as leaders of Grace Haven Ministry Center, Mansfield, Ohio. They faithfully served the ministry for 40 years. They "finished well."